When you meet someone for the first time, you hope you’ve made a memorable good impression on them. You hope they walk away remembering who you are and left them with a positive outlook. Those first seconds and minutes of the conversations build their thoughts on you. Princeton researchers have even suggested that people make accurate assessments of others in 1/10 of a second.

You only get one chance to make a great impression, so you want to feel confident you’re equipped and confident that you’ve done your best. But, how do you leave a great first impression? How do you get them to be excited to continue to have conversations with you?

Many times when people go into conversations, they choose to go with the flow. They see what comes up, they wing it, and then see how the other person responds. It’s really important to understand what your intent and focus is when entering into any conversation. What is the intent? Your purpose? The more clear you are, the more prepared and confident you will be with the first impression you left. 

And the more prepared you are, the closer you get to actually getting what you want— a meaningful and compatible connection.

How do you hope others describe you after you’ve met? There are descriptive words people think about when they reflect on who they’ve just spoken with. Some positive descriptive words for a great first impression are:

• Interesting
• Upbeat
• Warm
• Confident
• Friendly

It’s important to know how you want to come across on your first impression. When you choose a descriptive word, you evaluate how you’ll show that attribute, and make it a point to speak in a way to capture those words.

If you’re unaware of how you currently come across, the best way to find out is by asking those your current friends (the most recently met, the better). Ask your friends “Remember the first time you met me? How would you describe your first impression of me?” With the words they share, select a few you want to focus on exuding in your next conversations. Because these are descriptors your friends have chosen, you can be confident that you already have it.

Are your friends’ answers unclear? They can’t find the words? Or maybe you don’t feel comfortable asking any friends? Another great way to find out is through psychometric tests. These tests use psychometric science to assess who you really are, and your inner characteristics.

With this new awareness of yourself (or maybe things you’ve always known it, but the psychometric test confirms), you’ll feel confident demonstrating the words that describe you. The more clear you are on your descriptors, the more you can make great first impressions and create long-term compatible friends and partners.

When you go into a new conversation, there will be nerves on what to talk about. It’s easy to focus solely on asking others questions. But with that focus, there isn’t a great first impression left because they just answered questions about themselves and didn’t learn anything about you.

It’s valuable to know what you want to express about yourself. It’s impactful to know the qualities and traits that you would hope and want this other person to see. And if you have that on the top of your mind, no matter what, where conversations may go, you’ll always refocus and redirect to make sure that you’re expressing these qualities about you, so the one listening will hear it. The other person is listening to figure out….what is this truly saying about you? What qualities am I seeing?

Having the desire to know more about yourself will lead to a better future version of yourself. And one of the steps to becoming the best version of yourself is complete awareness. What are your top qualities? Some qualities that you may discover from online psychometric tests include:

• Extroverted (or, introverted)
• Sensing (or, having intuition)
• Thinking (or, feeling)
• Judging (or, perceiving)
• Highly intelligent
• Emotionally mature
• And more!

It’s easy to only talk about your favorite activity or other interests, but knowing your psychometric qualities can bring your conversation to the next level.

Here’s an example: if you find out that you are truly introverted, you’ll recognize a quality of yours is thriving in intimate meaningful conversations. You can use this awareness to focus on asking very curious, deep questions. Now you’re able to embrace your quality of introversion and convert it into a powerful conversational asset. You’ll end the conversation leaving a great first impression because your acquaintance will see you’re very intelligent and interested in them. They’ll appreciate your personal curiosity and interest, and reciprocate it.