Take a moment and think of your best friend. How did you meet them? Why do you like them? This article will explain how to make more great friends just like them by using the science of psychometric compatibility.
Friendship… is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything. ~Muhammad Ali
It’s all about compatibility
Back to your best friend: would you say you’re “compatible” with them? Compatibility is the foundation of lasting friendships, but what does it mean? And how can you find “compatible friends?”
Friends fall into several categories:
- Lifelong Friends
- Best Friends
- Close Friends
- Social Group
- Activity Friends
- Friends of Convenience
- Acquaintance Friends
Notice that compatibility is essential for the most rewarding friendship types. While you can be “friends” with any random neighbor or co-worker, very few people will have enough compatibility to become close or lifelong friends.
Making friends using psychometrics
Looking for psychometrically compatible friends means looking for people who you actually like being around and speaking with. But it doesn’t mean you share the same hobbies or like the same sports teams. One research experiment found that having mutual interests is among the least important factors in friendship chemistry.
Psychometric compatibility means your minds fit together in a way that is mutually rewarding and supporting, like two beautiful puzzle pieces coming together. Finding friends (especially as an adult) comes down to compatible personality types and compatible ways of expressing emotion. The above-mentioned experiment also found the top three most important factors for interpersonal chemistry are:
- Feeling that your friend really understands you
- Having similar values
- Having similar morals
How to find psychometrically compatible friends
First the bad news: you can’t tell if someone is psychometrically compatible just by looking at them. That means making compatible friends in person is going to take time, and you’re going to have some candidates that just don’t work out.
Now here’s the good news: there are new technologies that help find compatible friends for you, automatically. This means you can make friends online that are actually more compatible than friends you’ll find by trial and error at your local library or café.