Before addressing the importance of emotional intelligence, particularly in respect of emotional compatibility, it should be noted that emotional intelligence is not always more important than IQ.
For example, IQ would be more influential than EQ when it comes to academic achievement; however, as far as fulfilling relationships are concerned, emotional intelligence clearly matters more. As psychology professor, Glenn Geher Ph.D. states “Our ability to read other people’s emotional states, and to communicate our own to others, remain essential, and a deficit of those skills tends to cause serious social, romantic, and professional problems.”
To help demonstrate his point, Geher asks us to consider the following:
Think of the person in your world whom you would deem as extremely poor at expressing their emotional states to others. This person might be furious with a co-worker who slighted them, but might have a complete inability to express anger or upset. Or this person might be thrilled with a birthday present that a friend gave to them, but may have zero capacity to show happiness or gratitude in the moment.
Geher then asks us to answer the following questions:
- Do you think that this person’s inability to effectively express their emotional states might make for difficulties in friendships?
- Do you think that this person’s inability to effectively express their emotional states might make for difficulties in obtaining and maintaining a relationship with a solid romantic partner?
I’m confident that like most of the people who have been asked these questions, you will have quickly answered yes to both.